How to SAVE your MARRIAGE after an act of INFIDELITY

How will you save your MARRIAGE after you've been caught cheating on your spouse?

What a question!

 

Divorce isn't the only possible outcome of an affair gone awry.

Today, only a few marriages manage to survive after an act of infidelity by one of the couples involved. It will sure take some efforts by you and your spouse to weather the storm, but you can mend your relationship and save your marriage.

After engaging in an act of infidelity, should you even attempt to save your marriage? Think about why you cheated in the first place. Something is missing from your relationship with your spouse and you went elsewhere for it.

You might be better off if you just put an end to the marriage, rather than try to save it.

The reason I ask is that you have to be absolutely sure you want to save your marriage before you can hope to do so. Ending an affair isn't enough. You need to be certain that you aren't going to let something like this ever happen again. You can be sure that your spouse will ask questions about why you cheated in the first place. Don't put your marriage in any more jeopardy than it already is by lying. Answer the questions frankly and honestly.

What are you going to say when your spouse asks you why you had an affair? How do you couch your answer if you feel that part of the reasons was that he or she wasn't making you happy?

You have to do it without making it seem like you are blaming him or her for your actions? Prepare yourself for the question because it's going to come up, and it needs an honest answer. It's going to take some time before your spouse is able to trust you again.

The only way to help rebuild his or her trust is by your actions. You are going to have to prove that you can be trusted again. The two of you can dwell on the affair and let it ruin your marriage, or you can focus on your relationship and make your marriage last. The choice is yours to make.

Infidelity is one of the biggest threats to any marriage. But many couples do manage to have a great relationship after an affair. Both the ‘cheater’ and the cheated have their own problems and tasks to work on. This piece, therefore, focuses on what to do if you've been cheated by your spouse.

Before you can start to save your relationship, you are going to have to learn to accept the fact that your spouse has had an affair with someone else. You need to deal with the feelings of hurt, anger, sorrow and betrayal.

It's natural that you will have a list of questions you want your spouse to answer, but consider this. You may be better off if you don't know all the details. Be sure you want to know the answers before you ask. You need to be able to keep your emotions under control when you ask your spouse questions about the affair. If you lose control and start getting angry, he or she is naturally going to back off and stop short of giving you all the details you need.

Prepare yourself to leave, if your spouse isn't willing to end the affair. If you aren't willing to leave if it happens again, you are making yourself vulnerable to more pain.

In fact, are you even sure you want to stay at all?  So, consider the following reasons:

Take an honest look at your relationship.

Have you been the perfect husband or wife? Or have you failed to meet some of your spouse's emotional needs?

It's quite possible that you had a part to play in this affair; and if you don't want a repeat, you need to admit it to yourself and work at correcting the situation.

You want more than to just save your marriage. You want the two of you to be happy together again. The only way that's going to happen is if you forgive your spouse for what happened. If you can't do it, the two of you are doomed to a life of misery not happiness.

Work on the problems in your marriage that the affair has made evident, treat each other with love and respect and your marriage will not only survive, but will be stronger than ever.